Leader's Retreat

This will be an update on this past weekend's leader's retreat. Praise God, it went very well. The Lord was incredibly gracious to us in every way. He blessed us with His sweet presence during our worship times. The main topic of discussion for the weekend was communication. Without going into too much detail, I will share one insight that Gary shared on communication that really struck me and I think is absolutely essential.

In the secular world, it is quite common to diagnose different personality types. This is to try and help conflicts among people who are working together. We have all probably experienced this. It is a good thing to do to understand ourselves and others. But there is a key issue that is missed in the secular world that we must understand. When there are troubles between people and conflicts erupt, often it is explained as occurring as a result of personality conflicts. This is a half truth. The real reasons such conflicts erupt is sin. That is what is essential for us to understand. Differing personalities are not the problem, sin is the problem. God gives us differences so that we can grow from each other, depend on each other, and be completed by each other. God gives us all different strengths and weaknesses so that we can function as a body that has all its different parts working together in perfect harmony. We should be around people who are different from us so that we can grow and become more complete in the areas that we are lacking. This is why men need women and women need men. This is why having different ethinicities in our group is a wonderful thing. This is why a 20 year old needs a 50 year old in their life and vice versa. It is a wonderful thing when we embrace each other's differences. All this said so that we understand that differing personalities in and of itself is not adequate explanation for why we are experiencing unhealthy conflict.

Since we all have a sin nature, there are some ugly characteristics attached to our differing personalities. That is why we have bad conflicts. We must begin to recognize the difference between something that is simply part of our personality, and something that is sin that stems off from our type of personality. We must cut off the sin part so that we can really experience full and healthy relationships. How do we cut off this sin part of our personality? The "sword of the spirit" must come and "divide soul and spirt." (Ephesians 6:17, Hebrews 4:12) We must commune with God, and be constantly in His word so we can start to discern which parts of our personality are being infected by sin so that we can put that sin to death.

I will close with some of the verses we were given to meditate on regarding communication.

Jam 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

Eph 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Pro 10:19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Pro 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Pro 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Pro 15:4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.